Saudi Revolution

Aquarian Weekly 6/30/04 REALITY CHECK


Crown Prince AbdullahMake no mistake about this; there is a full-scale revolution breaking in Saudi Arabia right now. This is beyond terrorism or the usual random acts of violence seen around the Middle East, like what is currently become daily routine in Iraq or a right-of-passage hobby in Israel. This is revolution, like what transpired here and in France during the latter stages of the 18th century or in Cuba, Viet Nam and Iran in the late 20th century. And that’s how this government, or any restructured version this November, must understand it and eventually deal with it.

However, unlike the revolutions noted above the Saudi Muslim extremist movement, fragmented and haphazard as it is, has no competent central leadership nor does it have a fucking clue how to unseat a government. It is, they are, all over the map. Beheading foreign transients, assassinating negotiators and blowing up jeeps are all well and good, but where is the government installations or media outlets, the embassy attacks or anything that could signify a true threat to the Saudi monarchy? Granted, it is a weak and silly attempt at revolution, but it is revolution nonetheless.

The plan, for whatever it’s worth, currently revolves around scaring the shit out of American engineers and ambassadors to expunge the 30,000 or so U.S. citizens from Saudi Arabia to weaken its economy and crack the back of its government. Things have not changed in 50 years. Without U.S. and European engineers and scientists the Saudi production of oil – its only export worth a damn – would likely sputter and implode. So it’s a descent plan, and one that’s been enacted by other successful revolutions, however it will not be enough.

You see, unlike Cuba or even Viet Nam the U.S. government, one either run by G.W. Bush or John Kerry will not allow a band of Arab pirates to run amok in Saudi Arabia. This is why on his current book tour Bill Clinton has been praising the Bush administration’s doctrine in Iraq and Junior gushed about “the great Bill Clinton” last week during the unveiling of a portrait at the White House.

Regardless of partisan politics the U.S. government is in deep with Saudi Arabia. Is there anyone left in this electorate who fails to realize why we liberated Kuwait a decade ago and our troops are presently still in Iraq? To secure Saudi Arabia, chief. You think there’s any coincidence the Saudi ambassador knew about the invasion of Iraq before the Secretary of State, who was asked to sell this badly staged magic show to the U.N.? It’s also why the U.S. Army will be asked to defend the Saudi monarchy eventually.

This is a mistake. It is painfully obvious we have backed the wrong horse on this. Let the Saudi’s crumble. It’s time the American people are made aware of the monsters running the Saudi regime and its two-faced policies of making billions on American ingenuity and a U.S. dependence on oil while also sucking up to entrenched traditions of hating Western infidels and filling school curriculums with murderous religious fanaticism. The time has come for these rapacious phonies to be shown the guillotine. If we’re really into freeing the world, let’s start with Saudi Arabia.

For those uninitiated in foreign policy, this is called an End Around. That’s how you beat terrorism; join ’em, or more to the point, let them join us.

Now of course I’m not saying we forget 9/11 and hand the store over to radical loons, but what’s the point of continuously fighting a cadre of fifty different powerless psycho groups wearing masks and skulking in caves and living on the tenets of ancient religious mumbo jumbo? This has doomed other major sovereignties like Rome, Russia, etc. It’s high time we let these cretins run the desert. If it’s their turn to topple the monarchies over there, so be it. Why should we stand in the way? Because we’re afraid these anarchists will blow up the oil reserves and build some kind of religious commune worthy of the Essences and screw the rest of the world?


Whoever takes control in Saudi Arabia today or tomorrow will deal with America, because when it comes to oil consumption, it is the 400-pound gorilla, and they have to deal with us.

We have to stop painting these terrorists as invincible sub-creatures fueled merely by hatreds of freedom and Western customs and begin to realize they’re no different from us. They’re weak and stupid and buy into all sorts of hokey bullshit. They crave money, power, clean laundry, and sex. They’re not mindless brutish aliens hell bent on wiping out the evils of corporate American greed to bring the Arab world back to 12th century customs. They’re cash-hungry power-mad humans, with all the same jealousies and temptations as every other asshole that has fist-fucked this planet for a slice of the pie.

You can bet the ranch the second these shit-stains take charge they’ll be dealing oil to us like the current pack of thugs. We barely understand the names, so what’s the difference what Sheik is selling us the oil? We might even get it cheaper if OPEC goes under. I’m all for that.

Remember the Russian revolution? Remember how Socialist tenets would rule post-war Europe and eventually the globe? There was going to be equality of economic status across the land. Kings will be defunct. Right. Then Stalin booted the socialists out and started the Soviet dictatorship run under the guise of Communism. He beat Hitler so he could become Hitler. And in a sense we helped him.

There’s been a lot of nonsense reasoning reborn with Reagan’s death that America somehow ended Communism in Europe, except the truth is Communism died like all “isms” die, when there’s no money in it.

The popular wisdom to protect oil trade by keeping it from the hands of lunatic factions erupting in Saudi Arabia is wrong. This is because the popular wisdom chooses to believe the creed of criminals wanting to destroy oil production and cripple the United States, instead of realizing that in the history of human experience no people have turned their backs on making a buck. Whoever takes control in Saudi Arabia today or tomorrow will deal with America, because when it comes to oil consumption, it is the 400-pound gorilla, and they have to deal with us.

We’ve been looking at this the wrong way because your leaders are old-school punks who’ve been running around the world imposing an atavistic will on peoples they consider inferior or somehow inhuman. This has gotten us into all sorts of trouble. And I fear John Kerry, if he ever says anything binding besides, “I’m not George Bush” will slip right in and perpetuate the same tiresome dogma. Name one administration, Republican or Democrat that hasn’t.

You can’t.

Of course if you’ve read this space for any length of time you know we consider Osama bin Laden a corpse. But let’s just say for the sake of this argument that he’s still alive. Let him – or any other phony revolutionary lout for that matter – take Saudi Arabia back for Allah or whatever ridiculous con he’s pitching his minions. Allow him to take power and succumb to the big spender in the oil market. Then we’ll buy his oil like the gluttonous goons we are, and soon after, one of the poor saps who bought into his “rebel with a cause” routine will be appalled at the sacrilegious impertinence of dealing with the western devils and put a bullet in his head.

Mission accomplished.

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D-Day 60 Years Hence

Aquarian Weekly 6/7/04 REALITY CHECK


“These are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.”

– Thomas Paine

D-Day RememberedSixty years ago this week the future of Europe and the map of the entire globe was up for grabs. The once unstoppable German Blitzkrieg, which had ripped through Europe like a hacksaw of death and destruction for close to a decade, was finally backtracking against heavy advances from rabid Soviet troops and desert and airborne skirmishes with Britain. The United States contributions to the Allied effort were considerable, (the invasion of Italy and the swift rash of victories thereafter) but not wholly definitive. The word had cut through the US military intelligence that a bold maneuver was needed for American troops to continue to split its attention on a two-front war with Germany in Europe and the Asian theater against the Empire of Japan.

Then came June 6, 1944, forever known as D-Day, when the most ambitious amphibious battle operation in human history turned the World War II effort on its head. Within hours of Operation Overlord’s incredible commencement, the most significant historical day of the 20th century would turn its second half into the American Century. The American soldier, made up of its poor, huddled masses gained a foothold on Nazi occupied territory and within three months Paris was secure and Berlin was all but doomed.

In the annals of this war-torn mess we call civilization, there has never been a more signature few hours than these.


Volumes of books and historical documents cover the details. No point here, only to recall the incredible cunning and immeasurable bravery of the men and women who carried this ridiculously ballsy move out. Now, 60 years later, it is easy to view it as merely heroic, or even strategic as if it makes sense on a map with blue and red lines and tiny figures moving across the terrain of Europe.

But what we discuss here is the almost otherworldly triumph, an angelic form of man against man, the painful realities of Cain and Abel and a mutant fury burning in the hearts of humanity set forth to settle the billion dollar industry of nations. The extraordinary sacrifice of youth laid out by many of the combatants who were scarcely of the age to vote or drink or settle a score in the court of law. Many were barely literate and knew little about the political machinations of hoary leaders or lunatic con men swept up by genocidal madness.

The history of the civilized world shoved into order in one bold stroke. Carried out by less than ordinary people cracking the foundation of infinity. Citizens of these United States who were unable to sit in a café or ride in the front of a bus or enter the confines of a country club or stand at a water fountain or use a public restroom or live in 80% of the neighborhoods that made up the land they represented, pushing up a beachhead of hellish firepower 3,500 miles away. This is D-Day.

The numbers, when digested through the veil of time are staggering.

The largest armada ever assembled, including 5,000 ships, 11,000 aircraft, carrying approximately 154,000 British, Canadian and American soldiers, including 23,000 arriving by parachute and glider. Three thousand of them would not see a June 7.

One day.

The Longest Day.


Handing over a life unspent for the restructuring of a map, for the survival of an ideology, a union, a race, and for the booming economy of countless generations.

Supreme Commander, General Dwight D. Eisenhower became a legend in those few excruciating hours. His cause was great, his guts unquestioned, and his scheme, masterminded over two years with Britain’s finest, a bold and tactical masterpiece. He was its architect. D-Day earned him many citations and statues, and soon after, the presidency. Eisenhower would later tell many of his biographers that even he was nothing more than a soldier among many that day, in fact, hardly a participant of utmost importance.

That kind of description would be saved for G.I. Joe; grocers and ditch diggers, mechanics and salesman, bus boys and couriers, drifters and union men by the score; the common man making an uncommon contribution to the future of the planet. Fathers and brothers and husbands and sons, daughters and mothers, thousands of them, boarding destiny, handing over their sunsets and ballgames and the sweet affection of their lovers for the infinite void of death. Handing over a life unspent for the restructuring of a map, for the survival of an ideology, a union, a race, and for the booming economy of countless generations.

The people who defeated the Master Race were its greatest ideological enemy; the Kikes, Hebes, Niggers, Wops, Mics, Gooks, the proposed drek of the American underbelly saving the free world for the privileged once more. Hitler’s Mud People ending the Thousand Year Reich in a few weeks.

All this talk of war lately has garnered the well-worn notion that World War II was the last “just” war or that its generation of soldier was “the greatest”, that somehow what is happening abroad right now or what transpired in Korea or Viet Nam or Grenada or Bosnia fall under the neat category of military police actions. Not so for the common man, or woman.

They have to fend for the plight of the world politic.

Right or wrong.

Again and again.

Always have.


For 60 years you have known someone who knows someone who was a part of it. Everything before it and after it meant something different because of it.

The soul’s torment marches on.

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Aquarian Weekly 6/2/04 REALITY CHECK


John KerryThe following is the continuation of a conversation conducted over the phone on 5/18 between the author and this space’s most reliably inscrutable Republican snitch Georgetown.

james campion: Okay, now let’s get back to this presidential campaign. How much money will Bush have to fight?

Georgetown: I don’t know. Could he have $100 million by July or August? Sure. It won’t matter. Nothing matters now but Iraq. He brought this upon himself. It means everything. It’s a referendum on this administration. It’s a fucking shame.

jc: But Kerry cannot compete financially.

GT: What? He’s loaded. His wife is an international bank. He’s fine. Her money saved him in Iowa. It makes no sense that he’s trying to circumvent the campaign finance rules by holding off his nomination at the convention. It’s stupid politics too. He’ll get a bump out of that thing if it goes as a news story and the networks carry it. If it’s a political rally in Boston, he won’t get nearly the coverage and no bump. He’s taking bad advice. He needs a “Good-Time Hour” attack. This is what those things are now. He needs to show a warmer side on a larger stage. His people know it, but they’re obsessed with money over there. It’s bullshit politics.

jc: This election as of right now, as all incumbent presidential campaigns, is about the president. But eventually Kerry has to stand for something other than “I’m not Bush.”

GT: I’m not so sure, but okay.

jc: Historically Kerry is a better one-on-one campaigner than he is on a larger scale stump. I’m hearing his inability to conduct a massive national campaign will compromise his efforts, so he needs to stay close until the debates. Kerry’s twice the debater Gore was and despite a horribly boring performance from Gore in 2000 and a distinct rally from Bush on the debate front, everyone knows the president’s ability to extemporize in these settings is awful. Kerry has to stay close enough to pummel him in the debates, or it’s a crapshoot, despite the Iraq results.

GT: Fair points, but I would say, above all, if Bush doesn’t raise his approval ratings above 50% by Labor Day this will be a dogfight and that does not bode well for a mediocre campaigner like Bush. He had the advantage of playing from in front and outside the fray in 2000.

jc: Where he earned the apt nickname, Captain Shoe-in.

GT: It’s the exact opposite now. No one, despite what they tell you from Karl Rove on down has a fucking clue how the president will respond. He’s surprised everyone before. It looks like he’ll have to do it again.

jc: Let’s nail down the battleground states. For the sake of this discussion I see 18 currently. Listing in alphabetical order, they are; Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Colorado, Iowa, Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, Louisiana, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Washington, West Virginia and Wisconsin. Take me through them from a White House/GOP perspective.

GT: I hate doing this in May. See me in August. jc: Never mind. This is about when Gore screwed up in 2000 and Bush sr. started to slide in 1992. They both waited too long.

GT: Clinton won in August of ’92 when Perot dropped out. Gore never competed. Never.

jc: Granted, but Bush could have crushed Clinton that summer. He did not respect the campaign. This Bush does. He just completed a tour of Ohio, Missouri and Michigan. And I see Kerry has dumped a ton of TV money into Colorado. He’s been in the Midwest for weeks. It’s go time. Talk to me.

“It’s as simple as this; Kerry leads or is in the ballpark in these Midwest states. If that is the case this fall, he will be president with or without Florida.

GT: For the sake of argument, and it’s very early, mind you, I see Arizona as more of a done deal for the White House. I think the Kerry people were banking too much on how much McCain hates Bush, and make no mistake, he has not forgiven him for South Carolina, but Arizona is not a battleground state. The White House will carry it.

jc: Are you talking about all that pro choice stuff during the 2000 primary after McCain took New Hampshire?

GT: All the stuff. I know people who as recently as Easter have it solid that McCain would not mind seeing Bush crash and burn on a personal level, although I give McCain a ton of credit. He’s never been interested in bettering his career by playing statistical politics. I know one thing; he despises Kerry’s Viet Nam flip-flops more than his grudge with Bush. So it’s a toss up on a personal basis, but it doesn’t matter. I see McCain as a key ally in Arizona, and maybe the whole campaign itself. Believe me, that’s why we have Campaign Finance laws now. The Bush people saw this coming. They appeased McCain for Arizona. It’s going Republican in November.

jc: So they’ll use McCain to circumvent Kerry’s heroic soldier stance.

GT: You bet your ass.

jc: Forget New Hampshire. Kerry is not losing New Hampshire. And Missouri is solid Democrat if Gephardt is the VP nominee. I would say Michigan is also in jeopardy of going Democrat as a result.

GT: Conceivably. I’d count on Missouri, but not Michigan per se. We’re really worried about Ohio. You’re talking a miniscule Bush victory in 2000 there and they’re a bankrupt state with thousands of lost jobs. Bush shouldn’t waste any money in Ohio. He’s done there. Michigan is a toss up with Gephardt or not.

jc: It’s always a toss up.

GT: The most unpredictable national election state ever.

jc: Scale of one to ten, ten being a solid yes, where does the White House stand on Florida right now?

GT: I’m going to say five for you right now, but my gut feeling is more toward seven or eight in November. Do not underestimate the Bush political machine down there. Is the governor working it? Yes.

jc: I think Ohio, Michigan and Missouri, not Florida, will carry the day in November.

GT: It’s as simple as this; Kerry leads or is in the ballpark in these Midwest states. If that is the case this fall, he will be president with or without Florida. If Bush wins Florida, but loses those two or three of those states he’s toast. I don’t think the White House thinks Florida is a concern this time around, and I’d have to agree.

jc: How are the Bush people seeing this campaign, as an aggressive fight or a stabilizing force. In other words…

GT: In other words do they see it as a rabid defense of the prize or a strong hold against a wild card candidate?

jc: Right.

GT: I think they’ll start off stabilizing the fight. They already have. They’ll paint Kerry every which way to Sunday as a loose canon, but eventually these guys have to get down and dirty with Kerry and bring out the anti-liberal guns, or they will not win. You see I don’t view this campaign as “too close to call”. This is Kerry’s to lose now. I think the president has to get ugly soon. Bring the fear. Fear will keep Bush in work. Fear of the unknown is the best medicine. Saved Johnson in ’64 and Truman in ’48. Poll the fear factor. Then you’ll see competent results.

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2004 Election Rumor Mill

Aquarian Weekly 5/26/04 REALITY CHECK


Bye-Bye Already?Even the most optimistic Republican shill has to admit the past 30 days of the Bush presidency has been less than peachy. Frankly, it’s hemorrhaging from every possible orifice, strangely akin to Sonny Corleone at the tollbooth, for those hooked on pop culture imagery. Whatever your paradigm, the last two weeks have arguably been the worst a president has endured since Nixon’s final legs. Between the rising death toll in Iraq, pornographic images peddled by the Pentagon and the useless Central Intelligence Agency, these ridiculous gas hikes, the new stock market doom speak, and the 9/11 commission follies, Karl Rove is suddenly the Dutch boy with his finger in the dam.

The worst of it has come from, of all places, conservative circles. Not surprising, when you consider it was about this time 12 years ago Papa Bush began hearing the kind of rumblings from the far right he could not survive. The prevailing thought in Washington now is neither will Junior.

It launched about a month ago when George Will began chinking at the weakened Bush armor with strong comments about “accountability” in print and then on national television. Followed by our friend Tucker Carlson, who has defended everything from Captain Shoe-In’s drunk driving charge to the insanity of that Medicare Bill charade. Now he’s “appalled” at the handling of Iraq. Not to mention the constant jabbing the Bush people get from the always-growling Pat Buchanan, who has taken it upon himself to paint the current GOP power base and its golden boy as neo-liberals with the mentality of world police and big spenders.

But although all are solid conservative voices of some repute, and Buchanan a frequent reader and contributor to this space, there is only one man in times of crisis that the Reality Check New & Information Desk turns to for the inside scoop on all things elephant, our anonymous snitch hero, Georgetown.

The following two-part discussion was taped during a rushed, but rather lengthy session following political weasel, Dick Morris’ appearance on CNN’s “Inside Politics”, wherein the backstabbing shit heel was hawking a tell-all Clinton book and waxing poetic about the president signing a bill rescinding gas taxes to force John Kerry’s hand.

jc: Normally I think Dick Morris a jabbering psychopath, but he began to make sense to me right there.

Georgetown: Morris is a pimp. I read the gallies of that book of his. I heard he was going to prove Hillary was queer, and what do we get? Scenes of Clinton weeping after the Grand Jury testimony? Who even cares about that shit anymore? He’s lost. What Bush should do is appeal to congress to draft a bill to drill in Alaska and end this madness.

jc: No incumbent president has ever survived less than 50% approval ratings. Bush is at 42% currently. This is about the place in the game when the sheen wore off on his father after the Gulf War.

“Bush is in deep trouble. No doubt about that. But who is going to take advantage of it? Nader? Because he’s the only anti-war candidate. Has anyone on the left listened to Kerry lately?”

GT: Bush is in deep trouble. No doubt about that. But who is going to take advantage of it? Nader? Because he’s the only anti-war candidate. Has anyone on the left listened to Kerry lately? I know the White House has spent some $60 million painting him as some kind of Dukakis waffler, but the fact is Kerry supported this war, and still says he will see it through. He has no plan for the economy, which, by the way has been steadily rising for months. So it’s important to point out that in the end independents have to see a clear distinction between the candidates, and I don’t see one yet.

jc: But you admit Bush is reeling.

GT: He’s looking more and more like a caretaker president.

jc: One and out?

GT: Unless things change, fast.

jc: Historically incumbents lose, new guys don’t win, except for Truman/Dewey. But there doesn’t seem to be too much hope Bush will galvanize the electorate unless they catch bin Laden, who has been dead for over three years, win this war in a couple of months, which will take annihilation techniques that will turn the country’s collective stomach, or these positive economy figures somehow translate into jobs for the mid-west.

GT: Nice breakdown, but here’s the deal. Bush has looked about as confused and dead politically as a man can be, and where is Kerry in these polls? Tied, if ahead at all?

jc: National polls mean nothing. It is like that whole flaccid argument about the popular vote. The presidency is won with an electorate total from states. Who cares if two thousand people in California are polled about Bush or Kerry? Can Kerry make dents in the battleground states? Can Bush fend off enough of the counter momentum that should have cost him the 2000 race to solidify Ohio or Missouri or Florida? And how much worse can Kerry be in the long run compared to Gore, who was a god-awful campaigner?

GT: Granted, but there are way too many variables now and too many weeks to go. After the 6/30 deadline for transference of power in Iraq, where will Bush be then?

jc: Let’s get back to the campaign in a minute. I have to ask you about these conservative pundits slamming Bush lately.

GT: Don’t worry about that. It’s a ploy.

jc: A ploy?

GT: Bush is insulated now. Conservatives never liked this guy. The same way liberals really feel about Kerry. But they’ll suck it up, like we sucked it up to kick the Clinton/Gore ego machine out of office. But now that there’s too many holes in the hull, guys like Carlson and Will want Bush to stand up and be bold, because they see the writing on the wall. Bush is too steadfast about hanging onto losers like Tenent and Rumsfeld, even Cheney, who no one in the party with any money or clout wants on the 2004 ticket. These guys want Bush to jettison the dead wood. They have the ball and chain tied to them. They stink of defeat. Bad publicity and public perception has held Bush’s hand. He says he’ll go down fighting with these guys, but the party can’t think like that. They let a loose cannon lifer like Kerry run things for six months there will be a neutered congress and we’ll all be fucked. It is exactly like the Gingrich revolution in ’94. This government will shut down. You want that, son?

jc: Have you heard the Tom Ridge for VP rumor?

GT: It’s more than a rumor, but Bush is steadfast. This perception of Cheney running things before and after Iraq is 90% on the money. Personally, I don’t think the boy can function without Cheney, and that’s not good for this ticket.

jc: So these conservative voices are putting the scare into the Bush campaign, not technically the administration?

GT: If things had gone better in Iraq, there would be no point. Again, as you say, Kerry can’t win this without Bush losing it. It’s a two-fold approach for the conservative wing. There’s a great deal of people whose voices have been left out of this administration. Many of them made this thing happen. How much money and lawyers do you think it took to secure Florida? How many mid-western church affiliates, Catholic right-to-life groups held off McCain? It’s time this guy realizes who put him where he is. Dick Cheney? Donald Rumsfeld? These guys are dinosaurs. They have no political muscle anymore. They will doom this re-election run.

jc: But don’t they represent the oil men? Where would the whole Bush thing be without these people? It’s why he’s gambled his entire presidency on Iraq. Doesn’t he owe more to them?

GT: Yes, and now it’s one of those things. It’s yours and you don’t know how it happened. Fight communism one minute and you end up with Korea or Viet Nam or the Bay of Pigs. Fight terrorism and you end up like Britain with all the perks of having to liberate and occupy a people who hate you. There has always been this grandiose underestimation of how much the rest of the world despises the U.S. Oh, they’ll buy our products and gain from our scientific and medical discoveries, enjoy our entertainment and luxuries as retail, and they’ll come running if they need military or financial assistance, but in the end, ideologically, in every envious adjective you could muster, they despise us. No president, from Jefferson on, understood that. This one especially.

Next Week Part II

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Blaming Rumsfeld 101

Aquarian Weekly 5/19/04 REALITY CHECK

MAN OVERBOARD The Bogusly Self-Righteous Flogging Of Master Rumsfeld

Master RummyThe outrageous glut of evidence coming from the government’s recent censorship of media coverage of flag-draped caskets arriving at air force bases and the ridiculous furor over these “prisoner abuse” photos can lead anyone to assume the American people are woefully unaware of the casualty and operation of war. So, for those humble neophytes, I offer the following:

This war thing everyone was so hepped about? This vengeance jag we’ve all been on since 9/11/01? It’s ugly, petty, brutal and horrid. You don’t get to be squeamish and moral all of a sudden.

War is hell. Ever hear that one? It’s a popular axiom among those who’ve been there/done that. Young kids die senselessly during it. And people conducting these things don’t have the screws tightened onto the old noggin too well. This is why we hire them. Clear thinking, compassionate types make bad war contributions. Moreover, there are a plethora of sadistic freaks who head these things, on all sides. Animalistic torture, sickening reams of propaganda, and the killing of innocents is part of the deal. What did you think was going on here, table tennis?

Take this crazy American contractor roaming around Iraq trying to rebuild infrastructure. He didn’t get it. Now he is beheaded on video. It’s like that poor, misguided fool Pat Tillman. He wanted to be John Wayne. Now he is the poster-boy for ideological suicide.

And before you start sending me your hateful missives about my insensitivity toward these victims of war, I consider them fellow humans and therefore brothers, and if my biological brother came to me and said he was leaving $3.5 million at the tender age of 25 to go off to the desert and get shot at or planned on roaming around Iraq looking for work I would have advised him otherwise. And those who disagree are just not being honest.

But back to the “prisoner abuse” thing.

I cannot believe for one moment that anyone over the age of 10 would be shocked that this country would be fighting any other kind of war? We’re so different? We’re above it? Do you know whose running this thing? Hawks. Warmongers. Oil Men. Corporate land-rapers. When this inarticulate goober of a president stands on his sloping green lawn and has the gall to utter that these tactics do not represent the American spirit, it is so patently false you expect the sky to collapse on his head like some bad cartoon.

This country’s military record of death, destruction, rape and pillaging is legendary. How do you think we got so rich and powerful? Good business acumen? God on our side? Yes, the tooth fairy and Uncle Sam had a baby and called it Liberty. OR maybe it was free land grabs, free slave labor, systematic economic backstabbing, not-so-secret assassinations, and an incredible roll call of CIA global crimes. Ripping off France, Spain, Mexico and anyone else minding the Manifest Destiny store put us in the catbird seat, sonny.

The spirit that sicked those Dobermans on that naked Iraqi grabbing his balls on the front page of every newspaper this week is the same one that slaughtered Native-Americans, torched Atlanta, firebombed Dresden, locked up American citizens of Japanese lineage, murdered women and children in My-Lai, and on and on and on.

Fact is peasant terrorists liberated this country by reeking guerilla warfare havoc on an imperialistic empire. Sound familiar?

I understand its human nature to eat a nice, fat, juicy steak and not wonder how it got there, or slip on those Nike’s and not consider what sweat shop made them. We’re here because horrible thugs with guns put us here. I’m a pacifist and I’m willing to admit it. Do it. It takes the edge off.

Letting our children be murdered while playing Peace Corps police force is a crime of unconscionable depths and should be rectified immediately.

Good. Now doesn’t this fuss over prison abuse ring as hollow as someone complaining about the rain during the Battle of Gettysburg?

And what can you say about the enemy, fanatic religious thugs running around with hoods and sub-machine guns? Five thousand years of violence in the name of Allah bankrolled by oil funds from the west. Starving Bengal tigers are too good for these monsters.

Just a few weeks ago the U.S. Army massacred hundreds of innocents in Fallujah. Not a peep. We get a few porn images that don’t look any worse than some of the shit I did in college, and we’re closing down shop? This is the same logic behind polls that have two-thirds of Americans judging George W. Bush a lying incompetent, but the clear choice for re-election.

So now in steps the embattled Secretary of Defense, of whom I wrote in the 3/6/02 issue of this magazine, “I think it’s important to point out that Donald Rumsfeld has gone insane. His Meet the Press, 2/24/02 appearance frightened me in ways that is hard to discern at the moment, but suffice it to suggest that he is clinically mad and currently has the power of two Caesars and Benito Mussolini thrown in for good measure.”

I went on to point out that to consider an invasion of Iraq, although not a terrible idea, must be run by a maniac to succeed. Loose cannons win wars. History is littered silly with their collective shadow. But although I do not blame The Master of War for these so-dubbed atrocities, I do blame him for conducting a chaotic, non-delineated cluster fuck of a battle plan that has dragged on for 13 months too long.

The idea that the United States of America could take this long to secure a third world desert nation with no army, with the silent, if not tepid support of the Arab nations bordering it, and, what is it now? $50 billion or some gaudy number, and still be screwing around out there is an outrage. Letting our children be murdered while playing Peace Corps police force is a crime of unconscionable depths and should be rectified immediately.

But instead we get The Passion of The Master Donald Rumsfeld, because every White House scandal, like every religion needs a sacrificial lamb. Kennedy gutted the CIA after the Bay of Pigs, Nixon threw his entire staff, cabinet, and the cook to the wolves during the final days of Watergate, The Gipper nailed Ollie North to the political cross for Iran-Contra, and poor Vernon Jordan had a hell of a time during Clinton’s Oval Office Fuck Fest.

But what is this government doing to secure this country we currently inhabit? Forget prisoners being piled into orgy balls. That’s window dressing, like women on television getting massive plastic surgery to sell flat screens. It wouldn’t surprise me if this government’s war effort leaked those photos to blind us to the real problem here: This administration has lost its grip, assuming it ever had one, on this occupation. Why would anyone take the damn photos in the first place?

And if this whole thing turns out to be a CIA affair, coming clearer each day, then it should be George Tenent, and not Rumsfeld who should go. Tenet was so hot and heavy for this mess. I propose we get this murdering lout on the rack and pour hot led into his rectum for starters. See how he likes war now.

Either we secure this thing or risk total anarchy in Iraq and most of the region. Otherwise Israel is doomed, if it isn’t tumbling towards that point already. And even though Iran, Jordan, Syria, Egypt and Saudi Arabia likes to put on the stern Arab face for their terrorist brethren, they would be appalled and frightened and become ornery business partners if this thing falls apart.

Firing Rumsfeld in the middle of this is like firing a coach during the third quarter. It’s too late in the game for this. He’s not getting off that easy. This is his mess; he should clean it up. Send in a mass of troops and take out everything in sight or get the hell out, cross the fingers, batten down the hatches, and get out your plastic to pay five bucks a gallon.

This lunatic has five months to end this madness or he goes when we boot out his boss in November to try something else.

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George Bush, Diseased Gambler

Aquarian Weekly 4/21/04 REALITY CHECK

HIGH STAKES – BAD BREAKS The Bush Doctrine of Manic Gambling

“It’s the action, kid. The action.” – Jimmy The Greek

Bush Rolls Dice For PressAbout halfway through the president’s impromptu CYA (cover yo ass) press conference this past Wednesday, I could clearly see the telltale signs of a rabid gambling addict. The glassy-eyed unwavering commitment to “stay the course” despite heavy losses, the implausible denial-speak that it would be worse not to have played the hand, and the remarkably stubborn inability to admit a mistake. I know these signs. I’ve been there. Trust me.

“I know it’s been a bad couple of weeks for us in Iraq,” remarked our president. “No one likes to see dead people on television, but we’re going to finish the work of the fallen.”

I feel for Captain Shoe-In. He is in over his head. Badly. But he cannot and will not stop. I could see it in his resolve, hear it in the quivering of his voice, and feel it in my bones. This is one Texan who is going all the way, staying at the table and waiting for the once-in-a-lifetime straight flush, banking on nailing the Trifecta, or biding his time until Monday Night Football. As long as the bookie answers the phone, there’s a chance. This is why wars, like casinos, run 24-hours.

“If additional forces are needed, I will send them,” the president announced during his opening statement. “If additional resources are needed, we will provide them. This government will do all that is necessary to insure the success of their mission.”

Whether you are for him or against him, backed the war in Iraq or opposed it, you must admit that it was a gamble from the start. Even the president broached it several times during his disturbing performance Wednesday. He had to be bold and aggressive and not wait around for an imminent threat. He was going on a hunch, got an airtight inside tip from spies and foreign intelligence. Saddam Hussein and Iraq was and would continue to be a threat to this nation, another in a long line of murderous thugs laying in wait for the right time to hit us again.

It was as if he were trying to convince himself after awhile. The time is now. Must invade. Put a scare into the troublemakers. Ramp up the war on terror. Shake up the order of things. Shock and Awe. Easy in. Easy out. Show the world we are not to be bullied.

“We will succeed in Iraq,” the president boldly pronounced. “We’re carrying out a decision that has already been made and will not change.”

George W. Bush gambled. Presidents do that. Some come away triumphant and end up with their likeness on currency or pitched in some heroic statuesque stance encased in a monument somewhere. Others eat shit. This particular president is somewhere in the middle and he knows it. Too late to turn back now. As long as he has his money in the middle of the table with the slimmest shot to get even, maybe even walk away with a big pot and buy breakfast for his sleep-deprived, cigar reeking pals, he’s letting it ride.

The White House Press, once a prestigious gig, now reduced to a human Iditerod, will never understand this. You don’t learn about social diseases from journalism professors. You have to live it out in the trenches, put down the rent on a long shot and bite your knuckles if you want to know a hearty soul like George Bush. The group effort to ask the same question 17 times wasted 40 long minutes probing the addict for where he went wrong, what mistakes he made, any regrets? This was a foolish tact, and did not serve the public well. The big stakes gambler knows not of what they speak. The high roller does not make mistakes. Bad Luck. Cold Streak. Someone jinxed me. Maybe. But mistakes? Nah.

When asked if he regretted any decision during his three-plus years at the helm, the president stammered like a school kid trying to flush a cigarette down the boy’s room toilet. And when stupidly pressed to compare the current police action to this country’s most egregious non-war war, Viet Nam, Bush could have said, “Please lady, Viet Nam? That damn thing went on for two decades. We’ve been at this thing barely a year.” Instead he sounded the gambler’s lament: “Don’t queer the results by comparing me with past failures!”

“I happen to think that analogy sends the wrong message to our troops and it sends the wrong message to our enemy,” our president responded.

The high roller does not make mistakes. Bad Luck. Cold Streak. Someone jinxed me. Maybe. But mistakes? Nah.

There ain’t no Red Sox curse and I ain’t no Bill Buckner, boy!

That’s how it goes for George W. Bush. He’s diseased. He needs help.

Usually those who suffer the ultimate fate of the high stakes junky or have the most to lose, family members, loved ones, spouses or college roommates, have to be sated. The addict must allay their fears that he is down, but not out. There’s a sure thing a-comin’ ma! This was evident in Bush’s repeated calls to not contemplate bailing in Iraq. Any talk of that is un-American and only aids the enemy. With apologies to my pop’s favorite film, “Kelly’s Heroes”, “Always with the negative waves, Moriardi!”

A sympathetic part of me chose to view that press conference as an intervention. Too bad the press corps poorly represented those paying for the gambler’s losses, namely us. I’m thinking some of the financial backers of this thing might have lobbed stronger demands on when exactly enough will be enough. When will our resources emptied? When can we expect “Mission Accomplished”? Yeah, that bit of theater a few months back was another clue to the gambler’s mentality. Win a big bet and get close to even and call it the big splash, breaking the bank. Then comes another chance to roll the dice, and bam!

The president had no answers for an end game or new government outlines or anything concerning the future of Iraq on 4/13. I heard that has-been fathead Newt Gingrich say the other night that “the press will know when the president damn well wants them to know.” Oh, good. Someone should remind the Bush people that listening to a pompous fraud like Gingrich would sentence the president to his kind of political oblivion. The press is supposed to mine our elected leader for answers that the tax paying, war-funding populace has a right to know. But the reporters let us down by allowing our top employee get away with the pussyfooting, “Wait and see”, “Patience and Resolve” and “We’ll be there as long as we need to be there to get the job done.”

What job? Free the Middle East? Reign democracy down on centuries of religious and cultural fanaticism? Sounds like the kind of doom talk that the ego-mad British Empire tried on half of the region for most of the 19th and 20th centuries. I recall Russia’s aborted attempt to bully Communism on Afghanistan succeeded nicely in bankrupting the Soviet Union.

The press intervention failed, except if you believe it was a good political move for the president to say anything, as opposed to the ducking and jiving we’ve gotten for the past six months, or to deflect any talk about the economy or any other wild cards for this November.

But like it or not, we’re going for it folks. All the way to the end, whatever end that may be, at whatever cost; lives, money, national safety. Didn’t you hear? Things are better than you think. We will win, but we won’t know when victory comes.

Sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down.


As Krusty the Clown’s accountant once told him, “It’s the best thing a person can do, if you’re good at it.”

And if you’re not?

Well, you’re Krusty the Clown.

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Truths of The 9/11 Commission

Aquarian Weekly 4/14/04 REALITY CHECK

THE DENIZENS OF POLTICS How the 9/11 Commission has Kick Started Election Year

Richard ClarkeAll ye need know about the 9/11 Commission, Richard Clarke’s literary revelations, the Condoleezza Rice media tour, the sudden disappearance of Democratic presidential candidate, John Kerry, and the ramped up ultra-violence in Iraq the last ten days, is that they’re symptoms of politics, and, in an ironic twist of disingenuous grandstanding, constructively aid in revealing certain truths pertinent to the voting citizenry.

For the record, the charge of cynic, normally and correctly thrown at yours truly, does not apply here. There is heaps of evidence that the political quagmire which widely manipulated and ruefully ignored fanatical Middle Easter loons for decades came home to roost on 9/11. I’ve written plenty about that before. It’s in my second book, and in a host of columns the past four years since its publishing, but what we are finally witnessing is its pathetic fallout in spades.

First off, except for the compulsory right wing attacks on Richard Clarke’s recent allegations, he has gotten off way too easy. Finger-pointers are a dime a dozen in Washington. I’ve never been there for more than ten consecutive minutes without having a drink with one. But casting such vociferous blame has the unnerving effect of conspiracy. There is as much blood on this joker’s hands as Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Osama bin Laden combined. His publicity stunt to cry wolf and sell books while leaving the sinking ship smells to high heaven. He looks guilty. He talks guilty. He is guilty.

If Clarke were so brave and heroic in his stance against the threat of terrorism ignored in the Clinton and Bush White Houses’ and the present “misguided” war in Iraq, then he should have walked-and-talked a long time ago. But he didn’t. After working in an advisory role in the realm of foreign threats under four presidents, Clarke was demoted and then relieved of his duties by Bush. Then, conveniently, just when the 9/11 Commission cranks up and the election battle lines have been drawn, he whips up a book and comes clean?

Please. Clarke is a blatant opportunist, and so are my old pals at Simon & Schuster, who used their Viacom partnership with CBS news and its overrated “60 Minutes” space to unabashedly promote him. Clarke comes on like the kid who was at the party when your mother’s expensive vase was stolen and figures to somehow clear himself by spilling the beans. “I told those guys the vase was vulnerable!” Frankly, if I were at that party, he’d be my first suspect. “Where’s the vase, whiny?” Clarke is just another reason among the many to get out to California and find what’s left of Ronald Reagan and punch him in the face. His obsession with bankrupting the Soviet Union bore monsters like bin Laden and now we have this jabbering coward to deal with. We’ve been paying for The Gipper’s shortsighted stupidity long enough.

If Clarke were so brave and heroic in his stance against the threat of terrorism ignored in the Clinton and Bush White Houses’ and the present “misguided” war in Iraq, then he should have walked-and-talked a long time ago. But he didn’t.

Yet, there is light at the end of Clarke’s dark tunnel of exploitation. Although his motives may be skewed and his mia culpa sleazy, he’s not the only one attempting to wipe the mess of 9/11 off his power tie. His rants echo strongly those of Paul O’Neill, another Washington lifer sent packing with a grudge and a book to hawk. However, though Clarke and O’Neill could never be mistaken for political marauders, both tell similar tales: For decades, our government was woefully unprepared for a terrorist plot, both home and abroad, and there was an undeniable preternatural jones in the current administration to invade Iraq the minute the second tower fell in New York.

Both scenarios have lead to serious political backlash. Howard Dean practically had O’Neil, once a Nixon and Ford advisor and close confidant of the vice president, on the payroll. And Clarke’s calling out of National Security Adviser, Condoleezza Rice forced Bush’s hand.

No one wants to be difficult in an election year.

That leads us to Rice’s vehement defense of her credibility after Clarke described her in print and in several interviews as more or less lost on the whole al Qaeda thing immediately following 9/11. Normally tight-lipped, Doctor Rice has been making more television appearances than the four gays guys on Bravo. This politically charged media blitz prompted the 9/11 Commission to rightly suggest she take her song and dance spin on record for the investigation. This forced the White House to acquiesce and give Rice up, something they balked at from jump street, raising the politically damaging echoes of Bush’s procrastination for a 9/11 Commission in the first place. Basically, the White House, eager to impale Clarke’s momentum, defended itself into a legal corner.

Again, no one wants to further intimate a sense of guilt with indicting concepts like executive privilege under oath while simultaneously playing the victim on the Today Show.

This brings us to fair-haired frontrunner, the suddenly invisible John Kerry. His people told me last week that “the senator is laying low to avoid early over-exposure”, which is normal for the spring of a national campaign. But when I broached the convenient timing of his disappearance to the massacre in Fallujah, where American soldiers were murdered, burned, and then kicked and dragged like smoldering dolls by braying street trash, they became unusually obstinate. By “unusually”, I mean that most campaign reps normally find me annoying, but this was, I feel safe in describing, what most professionals would deem overly aggressive.

I tried to explain to campaign rep, Roger (last name withheld) that despite all his candidate’s anti-war rhetoric, the atmosphere of culpability created by the 9/11 Commission must extend to congress and those members who voted to send the victims of last week’s horror show to war in the first place. I then added that their candidate followed that up by making the politically motivated move to refuse further funding of said troops.

Oh yeah, Roger had lots of things to say, most of them laced with expletives. I forgave him. He was frightened. And that’s good news for those rooting for Kerry. When I tussled with the Bush people in 2000 about the evils of Al Gore, they chuckled. Ignoring my Cassandra-like prescience for doom is dangerous. If not for the imbeciles in Florida, their boy would have eaten crow. At least the bottom feeders at the Kerry forces see bad moons when they rise, and by keeping the senator’s head in the sand when the bullets fly on who might be responsible for the foreign relations mess this country is in – of which he would not and should not get a pass – they avoid needless explanatory stump speeches.

The final political animal mutated from the 9/11 Commission is the escalated violence against American troops in Iraq, above and beyond the nasty business in Fallujah. When you talk to the Jerusalem Post as much I do, you get the idea that everything is political with terrorists. They especially love election years, heated arguments over war policy, and the cast of blame for their atrocities, like the one in Spain last month. This has emboldened the resistance against American forces and puts a high premium on coverage. If homeless psychos in cow towns can get the front page of the New York Times, what are the big boys doing to get decent press?

As I write this, Rice is finally testifying (filibustering) before the 9/11 Commission (a politically charged attack unit) and on Capitol Hill (home office of cowardice) the two-martini lunch set are either comparing Iraq to Viet Nam or crying about a “will to win”. Meanwhile Americans die and our money continues to go down the sinkhole known as Homeland Security. Something’s got to give, no?

One way or the other the results will likely resemble your particular ideology or be the same old crap. Probably both. Ostensibly, that’s your job this November. Of course, that’s what they tell you. You know, the denizens of politics.

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Bigotry & Gay Marriage

Aquarian Weekly 3/17/04 REALITY CHECK


Why are we arguing about gay marriage, again? Please, I really would like to know. Adult gay couples, citizens of these United States, can’t marry? Why? I cannot get around this. Honestly. This isn’t a literary vehicle to confound with circular logic or to flippantly speak to the absurdities of the argument. I am not playing around. I really have no fucking idea what the problem with this is.

Is it moral? What is moral? Isn’t that self-realizing, not publicly debated, much less voted on? Who decides this? Law? Law decides love? Law decides the heart? This is about money, not morals. This is about entitlements, not law. So heterosexuals are only permitted access to entitlements? On what grounds? Didn’t we just spend tons of cash and spill innocent blood excising Saddam Hussein halfway across the globe for that kind of criminal bullshit?

This isn’t about morals. This isn’t even about the sanctity of love, whatever that is. It’s about money. We want ours, to hell with the rest. I know all about that. Typical.

By merely suggesting this madness as a constitutional amendment is a blatant form of bigotry. The chief executive has overreached his job description and displays the worst kind of government oppression that should not be tolerated by any American.

Which is why these frightened dolts we vote for will never touch this thing head-on, not even the embattled president, who started all of this to polarize his right wing contingent once his numbers started to plummet below the acceptable level. It’s a ruse. He’s a ruse. Always has been, and so is his apparent opponent who will not answer this beyond civil unions or state rights, because John Kerry is a scared little frontrunner, who has the convictions of a smack dealer, and is sadly still a better choice than that insane idiot in charge right now.

By merely suggesting this madness as a constitutional amendment is a blatant form of bigotry. The chief executive has overreached his job description and displays the worst kind of government oppression that should not be tolerated by any American. We had to listen to this dolt jabber on about freedom so we can dive head long into his holy war in the name of freedom and then he pulls this hypocritical recrimination.

So, is the argument religious? On what authority? The Bible? The Bible would have the Israelites, of which, in every description of purity, we are few, marrying within the family. It is God’s will that we keep the culture pure. Not your culture, the Israelites. So, if you happen to be an Israelite, marry your kin. If not, which is likely, shut the fuck up about religion and God. We know less about God than anyone with the exception of Mel Gibson and Jerry Falwell, who know less than nothing.

Is it the sanctity of marriage? What the hell is that? The sanctity of marriage? Who decides that? Where is the outrage when Darva Congers marries a millionaire in a televised contest? They can get legally hitched for ratings, but homosexuals can’t marry for love and financial security?

Was that Britney Spears fifteen-minute marriage more legal than Rosie O’Donnell’s? Apparently.

But was it more moral or religious? But don’t get me started on that fat fraud, Rosie O’Donnell. When it suited her to be heterosexual to sell her talk show persona, she was swooning all over Tom Cruise, and now that she’s rich, she is a militant dyke bitch from hell? What a phony. I think her stance on gay rights goes right up there with O.J. Simpson being a martyr for civil rights. Yeah, O.J. is black, and I’ll be starting at center for the Knicks tonight.

And by the way, I don’t want Julia Roberts to get married anymore. She made a mockery of marriage and embarrassed one of my favorite songwriters. I’m partial to Lyle Lovett. So, I’ve decided she cannot get married anymore. Period. That is my logic. I don’t like Julia Roberts’ marital record and I am a fan of Lyle Lovett’s music. Stupid, right? But that argument has some merit. I have solid evidence Roberts blows at marriage. What merit does “gays cannot marry” have?

Moral? Nah. Religious? Nah. Aesthetic? Nah.


How is it legal to deny rights? In the name of opening a can of worms: First you allow gays to marry, then fathers will be marrying sons and people will marry pigs or lampposts. Sure, that’s a good one. You mean like we didn’t need to abolish slavery and make African Americans citizens or allow women basic civil rights? Is it a bit like that kind of can of worms? You know how many people had to be jailed and threatened and publicly abused just to allow women to vote? And you know what those arguments against women’s right to vote were? What’s next, five year olds voting? Dogs? Sofas?

Then of course there is the always popular: It’s disgusting. It’s unnatural. It’s disturbing. I’m frightened of it. Yes, good. I’m disturbed by Salsa music, fast food, talk radio, the price of a subway ride, and the L.A Lakers. Where can I sign up for banning these?

This is by far the dumbest subject I’ve had to rebuke in this space, and if you’ve been around for any of the past seven-plus years, you’d have to concur that I’ve had some beauts. But this takes the cake. It is so off the charts silly, it bares notice. There is no possible argument for this, least of all legal. It is patently unconstitutional and is all the reason George W. Bush would need to even broach it, because if this makes it to the Supreme Court, it’s not even an issue, nor should it be.

This is one of the times when you are embarrassed to be an American and even more for being human.

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Of Course Bush Lied About WMD’s

Aquarian Weekly 2/18/04 REALITY CHECK


There can be no sane argument that the president did not lie about the invasion of Iraq. Let’s put that one to bed. He had to lie. All that droning on about evil regimes, human rights, direct threat to the US, and freeing the Iraqi people was admittedly weak Mob RulesTexas hooh-ha, but what did you want the man to do, get on the tube and talk about daddy’s revenge and restructuring the Middle East to secure oil concerns, protect Israel, and put a scare into the towel heads?

Nonetheless, as stated in this space before, Hussein had to go. My meager research alone (clearly dissected in past columns) has given me enough proof that if Iraq had continued to be run in that fashion, the compromises for not only Israel but also Saudi Arabia et al would have been grim. Thus, the concept of regime change (formulated over 12 years and three administrations) never was about a how or why, but when.

You know how much money and power was at stake here? So much that if someone told G.W. to do a hoola dance on Letterman to make trashing Iraq an imperative, he would have been trying on grass skirts by sundown. So let’s not have any allusions over a semantics argument regarding WMD’s or any other banal acronyms.

The frame of the debate over this Bush fiasco should be the methods and expediency of the current operation, both of which have been royally flummoxed from jump street. All the fears about Junior being a lost rich boy with agonizingly limited intellect came to pass.

But all presidents lie about invasions. This is part of the gig. Some are better than others. FDR was excellent. LBJ, not so much. Nixon and Reagan were just clumsy and stupid.

The jury is in on George W. Bush.

He stinks at it.

Now we get all the backtracking from the lackeys.

It pains me to see a gentlewoman and a scholar like Condoleezza Rice jump through hoops for political dunderheads. I don’t feel so bad for Colin Powel. His soft-core approach never fooled me. He is the worst kind of militaristic idiot, a useless tool of aggression with a predictably disingenuous twist on the facts. It’s the same old crap from these medal-toting pustules, break stuff first and ask questions later.

However, Donald Rumsfeld deserves to squirm. He was a corn-sniffer for Nixon and took it hard from Bush Sr., and has been rightly diagnosed in this space over a year ago as clinically insane. Nothing that has transpired since has reversed this judgment.

The rest of the administration is goofy. Not as insidious as the Left wants it to be, but it’s not functioning correctly right now.

Functioning rather badly in the realm of foreign relations in fact.

Innocents die, kids with guns run amok, and the map of the globe changes a bit. But the one thing that doesn’t change is the power structure. And as much as we hate to admit it in print, America is part of the power structure.

Okay, they’re lost.

Watching Tim Russert try and yank serviceable answers out of the president on this abortion last Sunday gave me pause. Firstly, Russert, of whom I have great respect, dropped the ball. He let a blatantly stupefied Bush make slap-dag ideology speeches without taking responsibility for anything, and heaving none of it on anyone else either. Most importantly, all prior talk about Bush having sincere convictions on religious grounds to save a wounded country and stand tall in the face of mounting adversity melted in the glare of network lights. The guy came off as a seat-of-the-pants dink. He’s not Nixionian in madness or morally strangulated in Reagonese. He’s lost.

Really lost.

And I can only hope the poor saps who made the call to send that jabbering moron into an interview format amidst plunging approval ratings was shot on site.

That scared the shit out of me. No one should have to endure that kind of meltdown. Anyone arguing that Janet Jackson’s striptease was anymore emotionally damaging is not paying attention to detail.

Now to this ridiculously childish idea that the CIA or the Pentagon act in the interest of public safety.

Who’s buying this laugh-out-loud absurdity?

Since the dawn of civilization, spies make things up and armies choose to fight over it. Most times this combination tragically results in reams of fantasy and we end up with Viet Nam or the World Trade Center disaster. Innocents die, kids with guns run amok, and the map of the globe changes a bit. But the one thing that doesn’t change is the power structure. And as much as we hate to admit it in print, America is part of the power structure.

We put Hussein in charge, fed him weapons, turned our backs on it, and then acted shocked when he went wiggy. America’s fingerprints are more or less over every nightmare from Korea to Iran to Pakistan to you name it. Occasionally, someone has to clean this shit up. If not this guy, then the next guy.

He can crow and hoot all he wants, but soon, if he is unlucky enough to achieve the job of commander and chief, John Kerry will have his hands filled with blood and old sins. It’s the nature of the beast, and the beast breathes. It’s a big ugly thing. And you best be sure you’re ready to ride it, rich boy.

Let’s face it, we’re all guilty.

Raise your fist in anger, but you’re guilty.

You drive a car that runs on petroleum? You’re guilty. You eat bananas? You’re guilty. You use GE products or run around in Nikes, read USA Today or take planes to places?

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.

The real lie is that you can stomp around like you own everything, expect entitlements with no sacrifice and then hold up iconic villains to answer for your insecurities. But in this crazy experiment called a republic it all comes back to us. It’s not exactly a democracy, but its close enough to be the best humans could devise using eight percent of our brain matter.

Safety and privilege has a lofty price tag. Otherwise, where are the American Indians today? And why are all these people from Africa running around? Yeah, you don’t know. You’re just trying to get by. Some crazy people killed Lincoln and Kennedy. Truman had to torch thousands of innocent Japanese. Shit happens, right?

Sleep well.

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John Kerry Takes Control

Aquarian Weekly 2/11/04 REALITY CHECK


John Edwards Fights OnIt’s getting close to go-time.

All that stands between George W. Bush and a second term is John Forbes Kerry, another war-hero senator from Massachusetts with the initials JFK.

Eerie coincidence?

We’ll see if any other (like victory) follows.

After capturing five of the seven states up for grabs on the “first” Super Tuesday, including 128 delegates, with sunny prospects for Michigan and Washington on 2/7, Kerry has cemented the complete support of the Democratic elite. This means glowing endorsements, inside party dope, ever more press, an increasing glut of ads, bloated national poll numbers, a gory slew of advisors, and, most importantly, a shit load of money.

The wheels have already begun turning in the main offices of the DNC. Nobody wants this thing to crawl on after a 2/17 Wisconsin primary the fractured Howard Dean camp is hanging its tattered hat on. Certainly no one wants this hitting “actual” Super Tuesday with ornery southern candidates, John Edwards and Wesley Clark mucking up the works claiming the 2/10 Tennessee/Virginia voters will stem any tides.

Popular wisdom among prime politicos chipping away at a weakened incumbent says a strong national candidate stomping freely through “either” Super Tuesday with little opposition ammo is a recipe for success. Wild talk of “we love the competition” is standard spin for party management, but it is poison for November. Winning the White House may eventually be a personality contest, but the machine that offers up that personality prefers closure as quick as possible.

Here’s what the Democratic Party biggies want to project asap: “John Kerry is sweeping his way into your hearts, across the land, in all conceivable geographical measures and dominating every demographic. He is the clear choice to topple the evil and stupid George W. Bush regime.”

Winning the White House may eventually be a personality contest, but the machine that offers up that personality prefers closure as quick as possible.

Problem with that is Edwards and Clark, each of whom gathered victories in the other two states are not on board. But keeping a proverbial stiff upper lip could merely get them a footrace to the vice presidency. As far as the DNC is concerned, the grand plan is already in place. Voters are window dressing for the rest of this charade.

But the other problem here is what I raucously refer to as the “Clinton Factor”.

Back in ’92, the Dems were gearing up to send a lamb to a George Bush slaughter. Then comes Bill Clinton with little-to-no party power-base support, left to twist in the wind as the press hammered away at every leak and scandal. Clinton laughably thought he could actually unseat a wildly popular president who had more or less just won a war against Saddam Hussein. And somehow, someway, Clinton, (later citing a back room deal with the Dark Lord), survived. He gained momentum, convinced Ross Perot to stay in the race, and won the presidency by default.

More eerie coincidence?

The “Clinton Factor” beats hard in the hearts of Edwards and Clark. Anyone who has been to this point in the fiasco can feel it. It’s a visceral beat, but a forceful thump-thump just the same. Sadly, it used to beat for Howard Dean before he was forced to join the netherworld of denial with Al Sharpton and Dennis Kucinich. Dean is what the late great political seer, Carmella Martignetti used to describe as “dead, but not knowing enough to lie down”.

However, Edwards is a trial lawyer who has been in the politics business for five minutes. What does he know about party solidarity and graceful exits? Edwards has got a dump truck full of Clinton in him. He’s good on the stump, an excellent orator with the ability to connect in small groups and shine on television, and did I mention he’s a lawyer? Clinton was a lawyer. These guys take the art of the lie to new and wonderful heights. Solid candidate material; but not so good for backing down for the good of the cause.

Clark? Well he’s a general. What does he know about politics? Politics is the game of brutal subtleties wherein one knows when to take it on the chin, dust it off, and politely bow for effect. This is a man who never considered running for a school board until six months ago. He’s army, boy. Green to the gills. Never surrender. A plant the flag on terra banshee, and he wants to be president. He wants to fix the world because Baby Bush has made mincemeat out of it. He ain’t going quietly into that good night. Oh, and did I mention the general’s from Arkansas with solid backing from – yeah, you guessed it, the Clintons.

But that’s just talk for the fun of speculation from columnists forced to accept the truth: As long as the party is on board with a powerhouse, the also-rans eat dust. Sad, but true. No eerie coincidences, just miles of bad road.

Traditionalists like to cite the March 2 mass primary as the “real” Super Tuesday. Of course, these are the same people who cling to the idea that primaries should be run and finished in six weeks, not six months, and the Democrats have already had enough face-time and money-spent to capture the title of Czar.

If any of these other guys want a sliver of hope, it’s time to whip out the nude photos or letters from hookers or betting slips or the sworn testimony of drug-dealing Satanists. Unfortunately Kerry seems clean. He’s not very controversial and he plays better from in front.

The question now is can Kerry defeat Captain Shoo-In this summer with either a southern democrat or someone from the mid-west on the ticket. The heavy money is coming in that the Dems will hit former Bush states, Ohio, Tennessee, New Hampshire, try and not fuck up in Florida again, and win a squeaker. This will all save the president from the growing probability of the inevitable second-term disaster.

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