TOP TEN RUMORS…About James Campion’s First Three Years At The Helm Of The Reality Check News & Information Desk
10. Campion attended a fund raiser for the George Pataki Campaign for Governor and was forcibly removed for drinking all the wine at the dais.
9. At one particular stretch of two weeks, Campion sent scathing letters to the office of baseball commissioner, Bud Selig signed, “I’ll fight you anytime, anywhere!”
8. Campion attended a gay rally against the St. Patrick’s Day Parade in Manhattan carrying a sign reading, “Allow Heterosexuals to be Gay!”
7. Campion started a near riot in the press room at Yankee Stadium on opening day with a skewed debate on Elian Gonzalez.
6. In order to procure an interview with an Al Gore supporter dressed as a chicken, who had been heckling Bill Bradley at a Madison Square Garden campaign rally, Campion claimed to be the vice president’s Prozac supplier.
5. Campion spent nearly forty-five minutes of a one-hour radio talk show accusing Continental Airlines employees of beating him “like a war criminal.”
4. Campion paid a Hillary Clinton aid one hundred dollars to run around a diner totally naked, jump on the salad bar, and dip his balls in the French dressing.
3. Accompanyied by his old GOP insider pal, Georgetown, Campion used a bullhorn to distrupt a voting center during the presidential primaries by urging the crowd not to vote.
2. The legendery Gonzo journalist and hero of James Campion, Hunter S. Thompson chased him with a pistol at an Amazon.com conference.
1. Using moles to intercept faxes from the Pat Buchanan camp to the GOP headquarters in Washington challenging George W. Bush’s stance on abortion, Campion added the top secret information to his Reality Check column which led to a speedy exit for Buchanan to the Reform Party.
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