Aquarian Weekly 3/21/01
REALITY CHECK

ANATOMY OF A TAX CUT

Seven out of ten Americans believe they surrender too much of their funds to the federal government. The other 30% either fail to pay taxes or burn money at parties for laughs. Most admit a "tax cut" would be less a reprieve than an overdue refund fantasy cooked up by decomposing Reaganites silly with glee over running the store for at least the next two years. And anyone presently holding tech stocks or a casino comp card won't argue with any of it. But all agree that a $1.6 trillion tax cut proposal is dubious at best.

This is a country founded on taxation angst, even when many of the original colonists were more than pleased with a lunatic king arbitrarily jacking up the odd tea tariff. But money has a way of conquering weaker emotions like loyalty, and today "we are the people" paying inordinate sums of our hard-earned greenbacks to an organization that barely has the capacity to deliver the mail or defend our borders. Schools are a breeding ground for murdering middleclass cretins and most of the federal government's money-pit institutions are corrupt, obsolete and in dire need of gutting or scrapping.

A $1.6 trillion tax cut is massive for any government, especially one teetering on economic recession with a wounded stock market and looming debt.

Senate minority leader, Tom Daschle and his chicken-little contingent, propose a paltry $750 billion to $900 billion plan with warnings that anyone claiming under $120 thousand of annual income will get nothing more than a diner tip from the federal government, while corporate gluttons and rock stars will be in the Marc Rich payment plan.

Daschle has to say that, he's a Democrat. And Republicans have to disagree, otherwise they'll all have to reenter the private sector and pay for their drinks. But anything Daschle offers will be a far cry from the $3 to $4 trillion windfall the GOP campaign gurus hammered against Al Gore's "risky scheme" mantra this past fall.

House Majority Leader Dick Armey and House Whip Tom DeLay, both wild and wooly Texas Republicans, would like a $2.2 trillion tax slashing over the next ten years.

Into this gaping chasm floats one George W. Bush and his litany of advisors, parading through a tax-bating U.S. tour. And while already proving as full of crap as anyone who'd ever manned the position -see his flaccid follow-up to early John McCain meetings regarding soft money, the Real Reformer will not be cranking up anything resembling campaign finance reform. But he will be paying back those who backed his presidential charge with promises of a hefty tax cut.

But how hefty?

The victorious 230 to 198 vote ramming the bill through the House, was pleasant, but expected. The same ride through the Senate, split right down the partisan middle, will be an entirely different animal.

That's why our barely-mister-president has taken this baby on the road through Sioux Falls, South Dakota, where he painted its Democratic senators as gutless toads clinging to fat-cat traditions, and Louisiana, for Cajun delicacy and a rousing old-fashioned political pep rally, with everything but the caboose bunting.

Then it was onto Florida and then New Jersey, where the president accused Democratic senators' Robert Torricelli and John Corzine of all forms of heinous crimes including land rape and jockey tampering.

Bush has a month before the tax debate begins in earnest. What to do with a projected 10-year, $5.6 trillion surplus? Should he stand tall and reject anything but the steadfast number? Should he compromise on a trigger function of the bill that would warn us of impending debts in the near future? Should he make the same deal with Satan that put Bill Clinton on an economic lucky streak?

One maneuver Bush cannot pull off is taking this thing on television to usurp the power of congress with a friendly televised discourse. That was Ronald Reagan's gig. In 1981the Gipper sat behind a desk with old glory waving behind him and peddled the goods. But Bush is no salesman. If anything, he's a motivator, and someone who the GOP pray can cope with the slings and arrows to come.

But in the end politics may derail anything resembling the present bill, morphing it into something akin to slapping a band-aid on a gaping wound. So in the interest of economic sanity and lightening the government's bloated budget, I offer these key suggestions:

Firstly, we must wipe out income tax. This is capitalism's albatross. What was the point of a 50-year Cold War if every citizen cannot chase the brass ring? There are other ways to keep the federal government solvent.

For instance, take away all tax-exempt status, especially churches, mosques and synagogues. In fact, to lighten the load on welfare programs, open these buildings up to the poor and homeless and put these people to work. Make organized religion and other scams masquerading as religion carry their weight.

Next, make the drinking age 18 to coincide with tobacco smoking and legalize marijuana. Anyone old enough to participate in war and vote for public servants and government policy should be able to dull their senses legally. Then tax the hell out of these products and enforce the law on any minor caught imbibing. All parents of the apprehended miscreants will pay huge fines.

Capitalists love addiction. We cannot get enough drugs, gambling and sex. The government needs to cash in on these blessed weaknesses. To that end, legalize casino gambling nationwide and then once we have that regulated properly, sports gambling.

This will provide the government with tons of funds for building up the military, Medicare and what is left of Social Security. Check the gaudy lottery numbers, which, by the way, is legal gambling.

And speaking of Social Security, bag this mess. No one under fifty should have any illusions about collecting money from a doomed system. Cut it off for anyone born after a decided date. This will add more to a paycheck for gambling and carousing, flooding the economy with plenty of money to grease corporate kingfish and special interest lobbyists.

Now let's get started.

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